No. 16 - "What kind of photographer are you?"
And how life's been.
Time escaped me again and I let five months pass. Crazy how that happens.
In my last entry I mentioned that I was building something of my own while continuing to take on commercial work and navigating my personal artistic practice, which is directly related to the photographic body of work I am making as part of the Hartford Photo MFA.
I have been spending a lot of time trying to delineate between the two. Art and commerce. The work I make on behalf of others and the work I make for myself. It sounds like it should be more straightforward than I am making it seem, but it has actually proven to be somewhat difficult. Not the act of instinctively making the images I want, but the approach to doing so when the goal is the making itself rather than an approved result. I find that it is actually harder to be satisfied with an image when the person I am making it for is myself. But anyway, pretty slim pickings when it comes to complaints these days.
These last few months have involved some pretty deep trains of thought. Mostly thinking about pictures and photography as a whole.
About a month ago I was at the gym when a much older woman walked in late for her personal training appointment. Somehow the back and forth between her and the trainer brought up the fact that she is a photographer. I had forgotten my headphones that day and since the gym is pretty small, and I had been caught in the crossfire of the conversation, I said something like, “Did you say you are a photographer?”
In a somewhat hesitant way she responded, “Yes, I am.”
“Oh nice, me too,” I said.
She paused for a moment and then asked, “What kind of photographer are you?”
The question caught me unexpectedly off guard. I eventually found some answer to b.s. my way further into and then out of the conversation, but the question has been sitting at the front of my mind ever since.
What kind of photographer are you?
It seems like a straightforward question that should have an equally straightforward answer, but for me it kind of does not. In a way it circles back to the tension between art and commerce. If the work I yearn to make personally differs so greatly from much of the work I make commercially, then how exactly do I answer that question?
Being put on the spot has sent me spiraling a bit since then. I have been digging into my own work, trying to understand myself as a photographer more clearly.
How does the same photographer who shoots images like these for a client...
Wind up being the same photographer who makes these images for themselves?
Outside of the obvious answer that the first grouping of photos was shot for a hotel brand, there is a lot of room for rumination. And somewhere in all of that space there might be a definitive answer, but at the moment I cannot seem to find it.
At its most basic level, my answer is simply that I enjoy making photographs. Maybe it is the question itself that is confused and represents a somewhat outdated way of thinking. I am not sure I will ever be able to compartmentalize myself as a certain “type” of photographer. I am just a photographer.
And so that is what has been on my mind as of late.
On top of that, I have been reading Larry Sultan’s Water Over Thunder since picking it up a couple weeks ago, and that has sent me down a somewhat introspective rabbit hole about what it means to be a photographer in the first place. Representation in imagery. Perspective. The importance of writing while making work.
It has been amazing to read some of the journal entries Sultan was jotting down while making Pictures From Home. Particularly the ones about his interactions with his dad while photographing. I have also been going back to my copy of Pictures From Home while reading the section of Water Over Thunder where he talks about it. Pretty rad.
I know that moving forward, if anyone asks me, “If you could have lunch with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?” my answer will be Larry Sultan. I would much prefer that question to “What kind of photographer are you?” any day.
Now + Coming Up
At the moment I am still working on building this thing of my own and it is going extremely well. However, I have made the mistake in the past of being a little too overzealous with projects and talking about things before they are ready. So I am keeping it close to the chest until it is worth going into more detail.
I am trying to be smart about documenting the process though, or at least keeping track of the order of operations so that when I do eventually share more about it, I can really dive in with anyone who is interested.
Right now I am finishing up two long-term branded projects, starting a couple of others, and trying to photograph as often as possible. Daily if I can manage it. As someone who does not always carry a camera around with them, that has been a bit of a push.
My cohort at Hartford is heading to Berlin in May, where we will be hanging our first group show together. I am excited to be putting work on a wall somewhere that people other than just myself can see, and honored to be doing it alongside this group that I somehow finagled my way into.
And to round things out with some exciting news, speaking of work on the wall, I recently moved into a new studio space. It is where I am running all of the pre and post production for current projects, working on new business, and most importantly printing and hanging work. Once it is a bit more set up and conducive, I will do a deeper dive on the space if people are interested.
Will try to be better about sharing here more frequently. It’s much more satisfying than the black hole that instagram has become.